The GAGS Who's Afraid Of Virginia Fetish ? track by track
	Intro - THE STAIRCASE
	Taken from the 1969 movie of the same title -a very funny comedy with Richard Burton and Rex Harrison. The words say it all -won’t you help me climb life’s staircase ? Not to be confused by another ‘Staircase’, a single released centuries ago by a folk group from London.
	1) ANKLE STRAPS
	This song is about a very beautiful and kinky middle aged woman who gets a kick out of shutting herself at home at weekends to play little games with her trusty friends -rubber dolls and human tables. Some words refer to the sculptures and paintings of Allen Jones. But hey -it’s not to be taken seriously at all !!! Still, can you preserve your breed with violent means ?
	2) DON'T LEAVE NO STAIN
	Don’t do this, but don’t ever dream of doing that. Be careful about what you do, especially in the most private situations. The only advice that works is..... anything you do, don’t leave no stain -any kind of stain. It might be dangerous.
	3) IF YOU SEE KAY
	Last summer I saw an american TV program on which a latin guy was arrested for beating up his WASP fiancée named Lorena. He was denying everything -and he had quite a criminal record for that very same offence-, and was wailing “Loreeenaaaa.. Loreenaaa !!!”, pleading and insisting he never did anything wrong, while the police was taking him away. The title is meant to be spelled “F-*-*-K” -but I didn’t do it on purpose.....oh yes, I did.
	4) THE WOMAN INSIDE
	......or the part coming up inside every naughty good boy now and then -in fact, most of the time, period. Am I hu/man enough to feel that presence, pushing her way inside of me to finally get out ? The woman inside says “Up Yours”.
	5) A LOVELY PLACE TO HAVE A GO
	There’s an heartache hiding in every room. Every bar, supermarket, every shop, every toilet have seen its fair share of heartbreak. Someone walking in the street broke his/her heart in one of those rooms -maybe the very same place where you’re about to have sex with someone you like very much. Aaargh.
	6) THE GIRL WHO INVENTED THE FRENCH KISS
	A striptease cabaret tune -a spoof of old fashioned night club numbers. I always had a kick out of Paris, Malcolm McLaren said. In fact, we love France very much -parisians in particular. Oh la la ! The girl in question doesn’t exist -or does she ?